You know those days that you have where you’re insufferably clumsy?  You bump into things and you drop things all day long.  I had two weeks like that.  I slipped on ice, I bruised myself on doorframes, simple recipes that I had whipped up dozens of times in the past went all to shit. I was a mess.  It made getting ready for Christmas much harder than it should have been.

A list:

• Double brownie recipe; Fail to double the amount of butter used.
• Use wooden spoon as lever to dislodge stiff brown sugar; Break spoon.  Get splinter in cheek.
• Decide to “eyeball” vanilla quantity in macaroons.  Lose control, pour half the bottle in.
• Compensate by forgetting to put vanilla in meringues.
• Gingerbread disaster remains a mystery.  Gingerbread thrown out.
• Finally have enough edible baked goods for gifts.  Pack them up. Drive to meet friends. 
• Leave baked goods on kitchen counter.
• Also leave Paul’s chilli on kitchen counter. Slowly defrosting.
• Slide on ice in gas station parking lot. Hurt self.
• Upon arrival without baked goods or chilli: Get in car accident in restaurant parking lot.
• Run out of tape while wrapping gifts, decide to use hot glue gun.
• Burn self on hot glue gun.
• Pick up box of new champagne flutes. Set on counter.  Knock off counter, breaking all four glasses inside.
• Open kitchen cabinet, pen falls out (PEN!?) breaks two more glasses in dish drainer.
• Christmas Eve: Manage to feed and entertain guests.  Guests leave.  Blow out candles.  Scald self by splashing hot wax in face.
• Christmas Day: Scald self by spilling hot tea.  Fall down front steps.

That seems to be it.  I haven’t had any out-of-the ordinary accidents since (repeat: touch wood).  I’m a bit of a klutz anyway, but December was ridiculous.  Frankly, I’m happy to have made it to the New Year.

Which reminds me:  Happy New Year, folks!