When you camp in Ontario, you feed peanuts to chipmunks. That's just the way it is. (You do not do this when you are backpacking in Ontario. You do not fuck around with food when you are backpacking.)

I was camping in Algonquin once, and I was trying to read. You just don't disturb me while I read. I was also, maybe, conducting a rodent experiment.

Anyway:

I was wearing a denim shirt, and the breast pocket was full of peanuts in the shell. And while I read, little Chippy would climb up the back of my chair, over my shoulder, fill his face with peanuts and take off to stash them.

Well!

One time his climb up the back of the chair seemed... less subtle. And he perched on my shoulder and I turned my head to look at him...

Red Squirrel! Mother-f'n Red Squirrel! Fluffy rat! Fluffy rat!

God - he looked enormous!

Still gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don't really remember what happened next. I suspect I made a loud noise and he ran away. Red Squirrels tend to not like being close to people - even in places where people feed them. Ugh!

But still - what makes Chippy OK and Red Squirrel scary? Size? Red Squirrels aren't that big compared to their black and grey brethren. I don't know what it is and I don't care. I'll never do that again.