Dear Kate,

I am very disappointed in you. Primarily, I am disappointed because you have been a driver in this country for 18 years and we have this conversation every year. Eighteen times, I have begged you to resist temptation, and 18 times (at least), you have succumbed.

Why?

Do you think it will ever work out differently? Do you think that just once it will actually do less harm than good?

I know, I know: the temperature Saturday morning was above freezing. Barely. It doesn’t matter. It has never mattered. You must learn to just say no. I don’t care if you left your mittens indoors, go back and get them if your hands are cold.

I never want to have to tell you this again:

Do not try to dissolve the remaining ice on the windshield of your car by spraying it with windshield-washer fluid. Use the fucking scraper.